Finding You.. Every Day by Tara McClenehan, Reaching Moms of Young Children

(Excerpt from “The New Me” by Colleen Kappeler as published in The Mommy Diaries.)
We celebrate our children’s uniquenss with abandon, relishing each new feat of genius, every step of creative independence. We encourage them to chase their dreams, seek out ways to practice their talents and strengths, and enjoy their passions. Why is it so hard to do the same for ourselves?

A map remains useless if left in the glove compartment. As women wired especially to live our own lives, one-of-a-kind creations tailor-made for significant impact, we owe it to ourselves and our families to fiercely protect our core identities. Our legacies flow from them, and they are what touch and move our children most intimately. Cultivate who you are; seek out ways to grow and to stimulate your true self. No one else can fill your role; no one else is prepared so perfectly to love your family, mother your children, live your life. You’ve got what it takes. It’s time to get going.

1.What surprised you the most about yourself once you became a mother?
2.How do you feel you have changed since motherhood? How do you feel you are the same?
3.Are there parts of yourself you feel you’ve lost and you deeply desire to regain?
4.Can you believe that you were created with amazing potential and with gifts that only you can bring to the table? If not, what is holding you back from embracing this truth?

Please add your comments on any of the above questions. We would love to hear from you! Click here to comment.

It's Off to College We Go! by Lori Snider

It started when my oldest daughter was in the 10^th grade; someone would ask how old she was and then I’d say the grade and immediately think- she’s almost a senior! I was known to tear up at the grocery store and any other place. I knew I needed to get a grip on the fact that my girls were going to grow up and leave the house!

I was browsing at the Christian bookstore and came upon the book, Give Them Wings by Carol Kuykendall. This book saved my life! My copy is tear-stained and dog-eared. I have recommended this book to many and have even purchased a few more copies for friends.

In her book, Carol gives advice and personal testimonies to use throughout your child’s high school years. You don’t have to wait until their senior year to buy this book! Here are a couple ideas that you might want to try:

• Keep a journal of your child’s senior year. I recorded the memories- both good and bad- and gave this as a graduation gift to my girls.
• Have your family goodbye prior to dropping off your child. Those move-in days are hectic- Carol shares a hilarious story of how her son’s goodbye was abrupt and not at all what she envisioned. Have your prayer and hug time before you head out to the dorm!
• Make as many decisions ahead of time as possible - finances, phone calls home, and expectations of college breaks. You may adjust these as the year goes on, but it is helpful if you have prayed and thought about major matters!

Enjoy the fact that your child is about to experience a new season of life and send them off with love and support! Let them know you have confidence in their ability to leave the nest! You will soon find ways to embrace this stage of parenting just as you did the other stages! Find the joy!

Lori is an Associate with iBloom and specializes in issues about parenting. She finds great joy in being a Mom and it is her desire that all women embrace and enjoy this amazing role! Click here to see Lori's bio page.

SPECIAL DELIVERY by Leigh Ann Napier

Have you ever had this happen to you?

• You get a call from a friend who says exactly what you needed to hear, right when you needed to hear it most
• You run into someone you haven’t seen in a long time and you know that had you been 5 seconds later, you wouldn’t have seen them
• You get a card in the mail that just makes your day
• You are seated next to someone on a plane who shares wonderful information with you about something you are working on
• Or (one of my personal favorites) a song plays on the radio that expresses your heart and offers you hope for what you are going through

These “happenings” are little gifts from God. They are little reminders to show you that God is a God of details. He cares about you beyond your capacity to understand. He loves you more that you could ever comprehend. God, who created the Universe and everyone and everything in it, knows and cares about YOU to the point of orchestrating other peoples’ errands, the mail truck, the seating chart, traffic, the playlist on your iPod or radio. Details…God is into the details.

Are you noticing these gifts? Are you recognizing when you get a care package from God? Sometimes we don’t even see them. Don’t appreciate God’s creativity in sending us an instant message. Some things that can block the message:

• Being too busy
• Running late…always in a rush
• Focusing on our problems more than our God

Be sure you are accepting deliveries! Look for God to show up. Expect Him to show you His love. Then remember to thank Him and pass on that love to others. They’re desperate for it.

Take a minute and share a “Special Delivery” you have received. Click on "Comments" below.

Leigh Ann is an Associate with iBloom. She helps you plant seeds for a fruitful, loving and lasting marriage. Click here to visit her bio page.

Birthdays and Beauty by Betsy Ringer - The Transition Physician

Did you know a synonym for “transition” is progression? When we are in transition, we often feel stuck. If we can think of it as part of our progression to a new stage, it won’t be so scary.

It’s almost my birthday. Oh, this isn’t just any birthday. I am now, well, let’s just say I have many, many years of experience in “midlife.” Did I say many?! Most of my life is behind me. When I walk past a mirror, I wonder who that person is I’m looking at. On the inside, I feel much prettier than the mirror reflects back.

No matter our age, I wonder if we see ourselves with the beauty God sees us with. I’m reminded of Norman Rockwell’s painting of the young girl looking in the mirror wondering if she’ll ever grow up as pretty as the lady in the magazine. I was a fat little girl with a unibrow. Perhaps beauty found me for a while in my late teens for a number of years. And now? No more physical beauty so it’s time for a transition into a different kind of beauty.

As I think about moving into yet another decade, I have decided that when I look in the mirror I am going to CHOOSE to see the beauty of wisdom, joy, making a difference, using the strengths God gave me, and then turn and look for the next adventure around the corner.

Please celebrate with me! Celebrate YOUR life and CHOOSE to see your beauty! I even have a gift for you…some inspiring quotes:

“A person is only beautiful, when their own beauty, is reflecting on to others.” Tara Grady

“Those who look for beauty, find it.” Unknown

“Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes.” Sophia Loren

"Cheerfulness and contentment are great beautifiers and are famous preservers of youthful looks." Charles Dickens

“Even I don’t wake up looking like Cindy Crawford.” Cindy Crawford

“Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything that is beautiful; for beauty is God's handwriting.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight into all this. 2 Timothy 2:17

CLICK HERE to share a quote, experience or encouragement for others. YOU matter!

Betsy is an Associate with iBloom. She helps women navigate new life directions whether discovering their design and purpose, changing careers, growing in a leadership role or moving into midlife and beyond. CLICK HERE to learn more about Betsy.

The Lone Ranger Mama by Tara McClenahan

One eyelid fluttered open as I strained to determine if I really heard what I thought I heard. My suspicions were confirmed with the next telltale sound so I threw back the warm covers and groggily shuffled through the minefield of Legos, the overturned art table and leaking sippy cup as I tried to avoid tripping over the dog dancing in anticipation of her breakfast. I stepped into the kitchen and looked at my toddler standing with both feet squarely in the dog’s water bowl, doing his own version of Lord of the Dance: Waterworld. He noticed me and flashed his dazzling dimpled grin as he picked up the pace to impress me with his skills. The urge to just turn around and go back to bed was VERY appealing. Of course, just then both the doorbell and phone began ringing. I took a deep breath and evaluated my coping skills for the day ahead and realized that I was seriously lacking.

Have you ever had a day where before 7 AM you were ready to sink to the floor and cry? Oh yes, it’s actually funny later, but at the time…. I used to try to be brave and go it alone, but I’m learning a better way. I’d love to share and also hear from you as well.

1. Thankfully, God is with us to help us:

“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:4-5 ESV

Even though I may only have five minutes between my child’s escapades, it’s enough time to praise God, read a Psalm or simply acknowledge God’s presence. Find that chunk of time in your day because it provides life from the Vine that we so desperately need.

2. God is ever present AND He sends friends and mentors to provide encouragement, guidance, laughter and perspective that all our efforts with our family will make a difference:

“Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.” Proverbs 27:9 ESV

If you realize that you are trying to be a Lone Ranger Mama, I encourage you to seek out friends and mentors. You can reconnect with old friends, make new friends by joining a new playgroup or an online mom community (try www.cafemom.com), join a mentoring group or seek out an older mom in your church to be your mentor.

Most of all, I just want to encourage you that you are not alone. Even when you want to go face first into your Cheerios, you have support all around you. Look up, wipe off your face, reach out your hand and get connected!

I care and I would like to hear about a day you went face down in the Cheerios and how reaching out to connect with God and a friend or mentor helped you!

For more resources about spending time in the Word and connecting with God, please check out www.ibloom.us/store.html.

Tara is an Associate with iBloom. She has a heart for helping Moms of young children flourish. Visit her at Tara McClenahan.

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Easy Relaxation Tips for Busy Women by Tara McClenahan

Whew! Summer is just beginning and as a mom of a little one I already feel a bit weary. As moms, we seem to take care of everyone and everything. But I have to admit, sometimes I feel guilty when I take time to take care of, um… ME! But let’s take that guilt, throw it over our shoulder and take some personal “mama” time for ourselves this summer ~ GUILT FREE!

Each of us has the capacity to nurture others and accomplish great things but a constant focus on others takes its toll. A car is filled with gas to make it run. Eventually the gas runs out and your car won’t move unless the car is replenished with fuel. The same goes for us. Emotional issues can develop when we don’t take the time to take care of our spiritual and emotional well-being, not to mention the physical results of emotional neglect.

Taking time to refuel our emotional tank is important so we can be the best for our family, our jobs and for others. A wise friend is teaching me that sitting for fifteen minutes doing nothing helps restore what a busy schedule drains out of me. In the summer, relaxing in a hammock under a tree is the perfect getaway from the pressures of the day. Reading a book for 30 minutes can also seem like heaven to many moms and overscheduled women.

So, join me as I commit to taking time to refresh my spirit so I can be the best I can be! Try one of these tips and leave a comment on this blog entry about how it goes. Share ideas YOU have found that are helpful for “filling your tank.”

1. Get up early if you have to. When you have kids or a full work schedule, the day begins at a hurried pace. Once you hit the ground running, there is no stopping. Waking 30 minutes to an hour ahead of time means quiet solitude to spend time reading the Bible, praying, drinking your coffee, and/or listening to music.

2. Turn ordinary experiences into major events. When you take a bath, add candles, bubbles, quiet music and/or an inflatable bath pillow. Your regular bath has now become a spa level experience. If you watch a movie, turn out the lights, pop a bag of microwave popcorn and curl up on the couch.

3. Ask your husband for help. Kids love their mothers but time spent with dad is important too. Let them bond with dad while you go shopping for a new outfit or root around in the garden. Since the time is yours, do whatever you like.

4. Use the Boy Scout motto. Always be prepared and you can spend more time in a relaxed mode. Fix lunches the night before. Iron clothes for the next day. Place backpacks by the front door so kids can grab them on their way out. The fewer things you have to do throughout the day, the calmer you will be with your family and not experience burnout.

5. Take exercise breaks. When you get a few minutes the last thing you want to do is exercise but getting a little physical activity in your day has far-reaching implications. Exercise helps you to think clearly and stretches the muscles. Also, stress will drain away as powerful endorphins are released into your system. Keep walking shoes by your desk at work. Do jumping jacks during a television commercial or jog to the bus stop to pick up the kids.

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Tara is an Associate with iBloom. She has a heart for MOMS and she helps them face challenges and celebrate victories. Click here to visit Tara's bio page.

KIDS CORNER: Tips from the "Expert" by Lori Snider

In this world of expensive gadgets, Moms (and Dads) may feel pressured to keep up and buy their kids all the latest things. Plus, who doesn’t love to see their child’s face light up as they open up something they’ve really wanted?!! Well, I want to challenge Moms to remember to include the simple things of life as “presents” too - I often think they are more valuable than the electronic devices.

One thing we started doing when our girls were little was walking. Each night after dinner, we would set out as a family and enjoy the new surprises in creation that God showed us - many weren’t there the night before! What a perfect way to teach colors, shapes, and science (ok, a little plug from the former Kindergarten teacher) as you stroll along. Sometimes we would go to a park and after the girls played on the equipment, we would walk in that new neighborhood. Or, sometimes they rode their bikes. As they got older, we added a family dog to the mix and that was good for all of us to get out in the fresh air.

An added bonus was during the teenage years. It’s much less threatening for your teenager to share what’s going on at school or in their group of friends when you are walking side by side and not staring them in the face asking about school! As we would make our way through the subdivision, the girls would share about not being picked for something they had hoped for, or how a girlfriend had hurt their feelings. It provided a safe environment for letting out their feelings. Of course, it got harder to do as the girls became more involved in extracurricular activities, but you can usually fit in a Sunday afternoon stroll!

Give your child a gift today and take a walk!

1. Please share a "tip" with other Moms/Grandmas that helped your kids grow in a healthy way. Please share a comment here.

2. Visit Lori, iBloom associate, at http://www.ibloom.us/associates/lori.html