Five Important Questions to Ask Yourself Before 2009 Slips Away… for good! By Betsy Ringer

Part 1

I distinctly remember staying up until midnight so I could kiss my husband and welcome in the New Year – 2009!! I LOVE a brand new year, don’t you? But wait! 2009 is rounding the corner and rushing to pass the baton to 2010!

Once the year is finished, you can’t take it back. With just five questions you can turn this year into a dynamic year while at the same time preparing for a vibrant 2010. I encourage you to print this out, find a comfy place, and answer the following questions. You deserve to finish this year well, so take a few minutes to reflect and make a plan. Here are a few questions Coach Betsy has for you:

1. If Year 2009 could whisper something to you, what would it say?

Would it say you took some time out for fun? Would it say you’ve spent your days rushing along and beg you to savor the moments? Would it thank you for making it memorable in a positive way? What message do you hear?

2. What is your soul yearning for? Let’s face it, most of us rush here and there, complete tasks, plan more stuff, and try to fit in all the mundane details that we think needed to be done yesterday. Meanwhile, our souls are hungering for adventure or travel or deep conversation or quiet or music or _____________ (you fill in the blank).

3. If you could accomplish just ONE thing before 2010, what would it be? Sometimes I put off doing something I really want to do simply because it’s easier to have the idea or dream than to actually carry it out. It’s easier for my husband and I to talk about having friends over than to actually plan it and follow-through with it. It’s easier thinking I’d like to go to visit friends and relatives in Arizona than find a date that works for everyone, make the plane reservation and go. If I think about doing volunteer work or cleaning out my closets or surprising my husband or doing something to improve my job skills, I can almost fool myself into thinking I’m making progress – but I’m NOT. I encourage you to overcome your fear or procrastination, get unstuck and move forward to complete just ONE thing you really want to accomplish before 2010. Big or small, just ONE thing.

Give these questions some thought and tomorrow I’ll have two more questions for you to consider. I want you to finish well, finish strong in 2009. No matter what has happened up to this point, you can move forward and embrace the life you love. Remember to finish the rest of the questions tomorrow!

Do you have a Life Guide Statement? This statement is created by you and articulates what is vital in the core of your being for experiencing life in a vibrant way. It describes the components of your life that span age, stage, and career. These are things that refresh your soul so you can use your strengths to live life in a meaningful way. Your Life Guide Statement gives you direction no matter your relationship, task or challenge! I’d like to invite you to let me guide you in developing your very own Life Guide Statement. Please attend my class by phone on September 22. If you can’t attend, register anyway and after the class we will send you a recording of the class for you to follow along, a Life Guide Statement booklet and an opportunity to correspond with me regarding your LGS! Register here: http://lifeguide.eventbrite.com/

Let's share our answers with each other! It will be interesting and we can encourage each other as well! Click here to share your answers.

Secrets to Speed Reading People by Betsy Ringer

There are times when it is helpful to be able to “speed read” people so we know how to communicate with them better. If you are in a serving profession if you can “speed read” a person you can offer them better service. Or if you go to a professional meeting where there are lots of people you don’t know and you want to be able to connect with them fairly quickly – “speed reading” helps. Or maybe you are the one who needs a problem solved and you know connecting with the person who can help you will get things done more efficiently, “speed reading” helps.

“Speed reading” people is a wonderful tool to have in your “Good People Skills” toolkit. You see we all have a preference for a certain personality style and when someone communicates with us in our style, we respond much more readily. Sometimes, we get clues from people about their personality style from how they dress or carry themselves.

A Playful Sanguine often wears bright colors and their eyes sparkle. They are eager to engage in conversation and appreciate others interacting with them.

A Proper Melancholy usually wears tailored clothes or subdued colors. They look very “clean” and put together. As we “speed read” them we know to approach them in a quieter, polite manner and build trust.

A Powerful Choleric has an “air” of confidence around them. They move at a fast pace and want things done efficiently. As you identify them, you know to get to the point, skip the details and get out of their way.

A Peaceful Phlegmatic on the other hand, carries an “air” of calming presence. They are seeking harmony and usually prefer others to make decisions. They appreciate those who take time to get to know them, ask questions and suggest solutions.

This is just a sample of the valuable information you will learn in The Personalities phone class coming up next Tuesday, September 8. You will be able to take an assessment to discover your own Personality and you will learn about the various characteristics of each of the other personalities, their strengths and struggles and the inner needs of each.

Laugh a lot and learn valuable skills for getting along better with just about anyone!

Click here to register. After you register, you will be sent a phone number to call to gain access to the class. If you can’t make it at that time, you will be sent a link where you can access the recording and handouts for the class.

If you have questions, email me at betsy@ibloom.us .

Visit Betsy’s bio page. On that page click on MY BIO to see a list of her speaking topics and events

Share a Personality story here.

Hard-wired that Way by Betsy Ringer

When Jim Carey was in elementary school, he was a challenge for his teachers – as you can imagine! He thrived on attention, talked a lot and constantly kept things stirred up in the classroom. He got in trouble often until one wise teacher helped bring out the strengths of his personality. She made an agreement with him: if he focused during the day on his learning then at the end of the day he could have ten minutes in front of the classroom to entertain the rest of the class. THIS WORKED!

Our behavior represents one or two of four different Personality styles which we come hard-wired with at birth. Hippocrates, a physician who lived over 2000 years ago, first identified these four styles. We continue to use the Greek names and I have added a descriptive word and “motto” that helps us remember a little about the description of each Personality:

Playful Sanguine – “Let’s do it the fun way!”

Proper Melancholy – “Let’s do it the right way.”

Powerful Choleric – “Let’s do it MY way.”

Peaceful Phlegmatic – “Let’s do it the easy way.”

Perhaps you can already identify yourself and some of the people you know!

We all have a certain “color” lens through which we see life. One is not right or wrong nor better than any other. Just different. Understanding important research on The Personalities helps us know ourselves and get along better with others.

One woman who attended my Personalities class told me, “I finally understand why my husband doesn’t respond the way I think he should – and we’ve been married 45 years!” She was a Peaceful Phlegmatic and was overwhelmed by her Powerful Choleric husband who couldn’t seem to take time to listen to her and was annoyed by her slower pace. She learned some ways to “speak his language” and also embraced her own positive qualities.

During a team building session I spoke with each person on the team. One woman told me this about another woman on her team, “She is no fun at all. She is so serious and every time I have an idea she tells me all the reasons it won’t work.” When I took this team through The Personalities they were able to see why they were having some conflicts and how to resolve them. The women in this scenario discovered that one was a Playful Sanguine who had lots of creative ideas, was energetic and eager to implement them. The other woman was a Proper Melancholy who was cautious and thoughtful and wanted to analyze the pros and cons before jumping into action. Once they understood this about each other, they were able to give one another the space to talk things through and plan the next steps to take.

Even though we come hard-wired at birth with a certain Personality style, we can learn to bring out our own strengths and adjust ourselves to get along better with just about anyone.

I invite you to The Personalities teleclass on September 8. You will be able to take an assessment to discover your own Personality. You will learn about the various characteristics of each personality, the strengths and struggles and the inner needs of each.

Laugh a lot and learn valuable skills for getting along better with just about anyone!

Click here to register. After you register, you will be sent a phone number to call to gain access to the class. If you can’t make it at that time, you will be sent a link where you can access the recording and handouts for the class.

Visit Betsy’s bio page. On that page click on MY BIO to see a list of her speaking topics and events.

Do you have a question or a "Personality" story to share? Please click here to share.

Move from, "She's driving me nuts!" to "She cracks me up!" by Betsy Ringer

Do you have some people in your life who seem to talk way too much? Maybe you’re one of those people. Or does someone drive you nuts because they are meticulous and they expect YOU to be the same way? But then again, maybe YOU drive other people crazy because you have everything organized just so and you are critical of those who don’t. Or has someone accused you of moving way too fast and being, um, bossy? Or maybe you just wish everyone would learn to get along.

A friend once said to me, after looking despairingly at my messy office, “Wouldn’t it just make sense to put these papers in file folders in your drawer?” And I know some of you are nodding in agreement. But others of you will understand fully my response, “These are projects I’m working on. I’ll forget about them if I put them away. Out of sight, out of mind.”

Sometimes we have a difficult time understanding others because they have a different PERSONALITY and we simply have different ways of approaching relationships and life experiences. When we don’t understand the differences in The Personalities, we get frustrated with others and ourselves, which can lead to damaged relationships.

Research shows that there are four basic personality styles and we prefer to behave in one or two of those styles. Ephesians 4:29 states “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it might benefit those who listen.” When we understand about the different personalities, we learn to behave in our strengths and adjust ourselves to get along better with others.

Learning about the various personality styles, including their characteristics, strengths and struggles and inner needs will help you build healthier relationships where marriages prosper, children flourish, and teams become more successful.

Please join me on September 8 for The Personalities teleclass. After you register, you will be sent a phone number to call to gain access to the class. If you can’t make it at that time, you will be sent a link where you can access the recording and handouts for the class. Teleclasses are great because you can enjoy some great training without traveling!

Laugh a lot and learn valuable skills for getting along better with just about anyone! Pretty soon you'll find others are less annoying and you can laugh about your differences and even know how to get along great with them!

Click here to register. Go ahead and click even if you just want to check it out!

Visit Betsy’s bio page. On that page click on MY BIO to see a list of her speaking topics and events.

Have a question or want to share a story? Click here.

Teenagers + Devotions = HELP!! by Lori Snider

As our two daughters grew, so did the list of their extracurricular activities - church, sports, academic teams, work, time with friends - Whew! As I struggled to hang onto the family dinner hour, I noticed it was also getting harder to gather everyone for family devotions and prayer.

That’s when I read a great idea in Beth Moore’s book, Feathers from My Nest. This book is a must read for Moms! She shared about having the same difficulties when her two daughters were in High School. Beth Moore solved the problem by purchasing a daily devotion book, along with a prayer journal. She kept these in the middle of the kitchen table and each family member participated at their convenience. The family members initialed the devotional after they read it.

This worked in our house because my husband was up first at 4:30 a.m. and would read the devotional of the day and write down his prayer concerns. Both girls would do so as they got up and had breakfast, or maybe later in the day. I could read and pray as my scheduled allowed. There were times we would do the devotion as a family at dinner, but in this season, Moms must learn to be creative and flexible!

An added bonus is being able to read back through the prayer journals and see how God answered our prayers! I still have these journals several years later! Don’t fight the teenage years…just find different ways to enjoy the journey! There are abundant blessings with teenagers!

Do you have a create idea to connect with teenagers? We would love to hear it! Share your idea HERE.

Lori is an Associate with iBloom and specializes in issues about parenting. She finds great joy in being a Mom and it is her desire that all women embrace and enjoy this amazing role.

What Do I Know About Holy? by Tara McClenahan

Holiness seems like such a vague and unattainable goal sometimes. God's Word says:

I Peter 1:14-16 NASB
¹⁴As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance,

¹⁵but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior;

¹⁶because it is written, "YOU SHALL BE HOLY, FOR I AM HOLY."

I read this and think, "God, You have Your work cut out for You!" But then I read passages like Colossians 1:21-23 NASB:

^"21And although you were formerly alienated and hostile in mind, engaged in evil deeds,

²²yet He has now reconciled you in His fleshly body through death, in order to present you before Him holy and blameless and beyond reproach--

²³if indeed you continue in the faith firmly established and steadfast, and not moved away from the hope of the gospel that you have heard, which was proclaimed in all creation under heaven, and of which I, Paul, was made a minister."

Passages like this one really make me realize even more how much Christ did on the cross! HE did the work to present me holy and blameless before the Father. Yes, we must surrender to Him but He even gives us the grace to do that! He gives us everything we need to do what He desires us to do! Doesn't that make you want to THANK HIM?

I heard this song titled "What Do I Know of Holy?" by Addison Road. Check out the video here and the lyrics here. I pray it stirs a reverential awe of God and His holiness and a profound acceptance of and gratefulness for what Jesus did on the cross out of His boundless love for us.

What area of your life or character are you willing to surrender to Him to mold into His holy image? Commit this to Him and then pray for the power of His grace to be your strength!

Share your thoughts with me!

Prescription for a Life Threatening Epidemic by Betsy Ringer: Transition Physician

I used to have two speeds: fast forward and stop. My energy level and ability to get an extraordinary amount of work done was just short of phenomenal. When my feet hit the floor in the morning I went nonstop, full speed ahead until I hit the bed at night. Yet no matter how fast I worked, there was always more to do. I seemed to work harder, faster, more furiously at my job and all evening at home. I was bright-spirited and loved working hard so I didn’t think too much about it. Then my body totally stopped. Shut down. Refused to function. I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning and when I finally forced myself, it was all I could do to drag to the shower and get dressed. I lasted about two hours, then my brain could no longer think or make a decision. Being around people proved to be stimulus overload for me and my body, mind and spirit shut off like a computer denied of power.

I discovered I had Adrenal Fatigue; a condition that results when the amount of strain placed on your body, mind and spirit overextends the capacity of your built in mechanism to compensate and recover from the stress. I had chosen to live an overextended lifestyle and my body revolted.

The short version is that it took a year and a half to get my body back on track. The pituitary, hypothalamus and endocrine system had to recalibrate during an extremely tedious process. I had to overhaul how I lived my life.

Years before this health episode, I had created a Life Guide Statement which identified the important and valuable components of my life that brought vitality and spanned age, stage, and career choices. My Life Guide Statement was designed to refresh my soul and help me make wise lifestyle choices. The problem was, I had ignored it, fooled myself into thinking I would pay attention to it “next month,” and given in to societal demands. Had I been true to my Life Guide Statement and made choices that would allow me to live life the way I KNEW I needed to, I would have bypassed this devastating blow to my body, mind and spirit.

My Life Guide Statement is “Exalt and encounter God, take a risk, savor the moments and live intentionally.” These components bridge my family, satisfying work, bold fun, and meaningful relationships.

Overwhelm, exhaustion, fatigue, unwise lifestyle choices, and giving in to societal expectations are an epidemic among women. My prescription is to create your own Life Guide Statement to live by. CLICK HERE to order a workbook that will help you design your own. I will be happy to review it and give you feedback. My desire is for women to make healthy choices to live the vital life they were designed to live. Begin your freedom from overwhelm today!

Are you overwhelmed, exhausted, fatigued? Share your story.

Betsy Ringer is an Associate with iBloom. Learn more about her and invite her to speak to your group.