First Step for 2011 – Lead Yourself Effectively by Betsy Ringer

Okay, so you have been making plans and thinking about hopes and dreams for this fabulous new year stretching out ahead of you. That’s great! That’s a wonderful thing to do! As your Life Coach, please allow me to encourage you to take the following steps to lead yourself before you jump into all the projects and plans you are eager to start. When you lead yourself effectively then your plans and hopes and ideas have a better chance of actually being implemented.

Leading yourself effectively doesn’t mean you have to be perfect (what is that anyway?) but it does mean you are authentic, make intentional choices, embrace life, know peace, love and respect yourself, enjoy loving relationships, and think through problems.

I’ll share a story that will help illustrate four points for you to consider. Last winter we had an ice storm that tormented our area for two days and nights. I was alone in my home. As the constant freezing rain built up on my power lines and many tall trees, I could hear the crackling branches clanking against each other in our woods and from time to time heard loud crashes of large limbs plummeting to the ground. Our lights flickered over and over and I was terrified I would lose power. I knew if I lost power, there was no way I could drive anywhere. I wouldn’t be able to get out of the driveway. I also knew my body does not generate heat and the cold would be shocking.

I set out into survival mode. Looking back on it, I employed some “lead yourself” techniques that are good for all of us whether facing adversity or everyday problems:

• Pray—I centered myself in the Lord’s power. I surrendered my tendency toward panic and fear and trusted that He would guide me through.

• Prepare—What could I do now to prepare IN CASE the power did go out? I gathered flashlights, batteries, candles. I put hot water in thermoses. I kept my cell phone charged. I brought in firewood to dry. I took inventory of quilts and blankets.

• Picture—To gain perspective I pictured where I would sleep, how I could stay warm while doing productive things without power, and how I could exercise periodically. I tried to keep perspective that it would only be a few days that I would have to live like that and I could make it through.

• Connect with others—I texted with my husband and kids and talked with them as well. They reassured me and even gave me ideas about how I could keep my cell phone charged and how to build a fire.

525,000 customers were without electricity for up to a week after the storm. They all have stories of survival. And we are grateful for all the workers who came from many states to restore power to us.

My point in sharing this story is to encourage you to make sure you are taking steps to lead yourself. Try implementing these steps into your everyday life as you step into 2011.

Pray—Center; surrender; trust. Ask for guidance for the year ahead.

Prepare—Think ahead so you can respond instead of reacting. How will your plans, hopes and ideas affect all areas of your life? What steps can you take now to prevent challenges from becoming overwhelming?

Picture—Envision where you are going and how you are going to get there. Think about handling problems with wisdom and living with joy.

Connect with others—Serve others and allow them to serve you. Relationships and contributing to the well-being of others brings deep meaning to our lives.

CREATE A THEME FOR YOUR LIFE by Betsy Ringer

Instead of making a new year’s resolution, how about setting a THEME for 2011? Choose a theme that reflects your assignment for this particular time of your life. Your THEME can be applied to many areas of your life and will allow some freedom for failure and the excitement of surprise.

Your THEME is not random. It may be balancing out your previous year or it may be something you see God is leading you towards, or you might see a new direction emerging. For example, maybe 2010 was hectic and frazzled, so your THEME for 2011 might be Rest or Quiet. By focusing on Rest, you allow yourself to sit, to say “no” to a request, or go to bed earlier. Your health and spirit will be renewed and your life will be more fulfilling.

Maybe there is a need in your life for friends, better health or de-cluttering. Be positive and use words that will help you take action. For example, instead of having a theme of Making Friends, choose Be a Friend. That implies taking action that will most likely lead to connection with others.
Some THEME ideas to get you thinking - Simplify, Adventuring, Health, Move my Body, Write, Surrender, Laughter, Paint, Savor the Moments, or Discover my Passion.

Take the following steps to identify a THEME for 2011:
Step 1
• Picture your life being richer because of your attention to your theme
• At the end of 2011, what will make you smile as you look back over the year?
• What is your assignment for this particular time of your life?
• Is there a way 2011 needs to be balanced?
• Ask God to give you direction in selecting a theme.

Step 2
• Write out several themes that seem to emerge from within. Give some thought to how they might be carried out in your day to day living. Is it a theme that can be realized in your ordinary routine as well as jump start you to try something new?

Step 3
• Select your theme. Embrace it. Be excited about it. Write it on several cards and place them in strategic places to remind yourself about your 2011 THEME. For example, place THEME cards on your bathroom mirror, over your kitchen sink, on your computer, hanging from the rear view mirror in your car, and wherever else you look frequently.

Step 4
• Give yourself permission to evaluate your theme quarterly. Is it still a good path for you? If not, change it. Or, recast the vision - how will it make your life better having allowed this theme to be carried out in your life?
Yes, I have chosen my THEME. In 2009 it was Creativity. After having my creativity squished over the last couple of years, my soul was screaming for me to pay attention to this important area of my life. So I engaged in more photography, created photo books, developed new workshops, wrote articles and blogs, did some redecorating and tried lots of new recipes.

Two years ago my theme was Creativity. Last year Harvest. My theme for this year is Change a Life. My focus is others – whether it’s my kids, my coaching clients, a group I speak to, a person in Louisville struggling to get by or someone in another country I may never meet, I want this year to be about changing others’ lives for the better. What’s your theme?

Be sure to share your THEME in the comment section of this blog. I want to cheer you on! Happy New Year! Click to Comment

The Season of Hope by Lori Burrell

We had our first big snow in my city, so you know what that means- a weekend of Hallmark movies! I conducted my own “marathon”; actually watched one movie twice! It was new this season and so sweet

As I snuggled in my comfy chair with my favorite throw, I watched characters end up in quaint little towns with names like “Mistletoe” and find the true meaning of Christmas. Now, don’t think I am making fun- I usually become part of their families by the end of the 2-hour movie!

After watching several movies, I began to see a theme emerging- the love and hope of Christmas. I thought back over my year and how at times hope was the only thing I had! I recently went through a divorce of a long-term marriage and I was pretty much dying in a pile for months! But, even in my darkest hours, God’s peace and love prevailed. I am grateful that God gave me the desire and the ability to believe in Him-He is hope. I remember reading early in the process that we either live in faith or fear- I chose faith!

Now, don’t think having hope made everything easy- there were nights I put my pjs on at 6 p.m. so that day could end and a new one could begin! But when you have hope, there are possibilities! You realize that you can and must put one foot in front of the other. You begin looking up and out and realize God still has a purpose and plans for you.

And, you allow others to serve and take care of you- the hands and feet of Christ. Love comes in many forms- mine was in family members who called and emailed daily to check on me! It came in friends who literally pulled me out of the house to go to a movie or dinner! It was from co-workers who picked up the slack when I could barely function! It came in the many, many prayers that were petitioned on my behalf when I was too grief stricken to pray!

So, this season whether you are in the midst of a devastating trial or in the sweet spot of life, give and receive the greatest gift of all… the gift of God’s love and hope. And show the world the “reason for the season”!

A 14-year Dream...

Have you ever had a BIG dream?  Maybe it was a dream that was central to your life purpose.  That without this dream coming to fruition, you felt like part of you was missing.  You knew without a doubt you were born to do this!  

But, now wasn't the time.  

So you prayed, prepared, and waited for God's perfect timing.  You've done your part, but now you must trust that God's timing is PERFECT- even when it makes absolutely no sense in the moment.

Well, that's my story...

God planted a dream in my heart to be a wife.  Over the years that dream grew and grew.  I knew that I wanted a marriage that was set apart- different than just the average relationship.  A marriage that would be thriving and an example to others for a lifetime.  

So, I knew that a marriage like that would be different.  It would take lots of work.  It would take longer.  This would be a different man!

But I didn't quite anticipate 14 years of praying, preparing, and waiting!

The waiting didn't make sense to me at the time.  There were MANY times that I cried out to God begging for Him to move.  Why would he plant such a powerful dream in my heart and not bring it to fruition?  At the time, it didn't make sense to my human mind.  Had I heard God wrong?  Had I just dreamed this dream for myself?

I had prayed and prepared.  I even had a trunk where I've stored 14 years worth of prayer journals, marriage books, cards, and letters for my husband-to-be!   And, then I waited and waited.

But, 866 days ago something changed.  I crossed paths with a man that would change my life forever.  We were connected on eharmony just days before and were meeting in person for the first time.  We had arranged to have appetizers & drinks at a local restaurant.  I was SO nervous walking toward the restaurant.  But, once he hugged me it was like time stood still for a moment.  His hug was perfect.  I knew there was something very different about this man.  We soon discovered that we actually went to the same exact church- even the same service time! 

I got in my car that night just amazed!  It really seemed a little too good to be true.  I didn't want to get my hopes up, so I decided to pray and wait.  I knew that if he were the "one," then God would work it out!  Well, I didn't have to wait very long because this very special man emailed me the next day asking for a second date.  That really was just the beginning of the fairy tale romance between Jon and I.

I now see so clearly that God's timing is absolutely perfect!  Jon couldn't have showed up in my life one moment sooner.  He wouldn't have been ready.  I wouldn't have been ready.  We wouldn't have been ready for one another.  I now understand that God always shows up in His perfect time- even when it makes absolutely no sense to us in the moment.  We just have to trust HIM!

And in just 4 days, my dream of being a wife will become reality!  I'll get to marry the man I prayed for 12 years before I even knew his name.  I can't really put into words what joy, excitement, and anticipation I feel.  I'm ready to begin my new role as a wife to Jon!

The dream is coming true, but the real work of building a thriving marriage that will last a lifetime continues on...

The Little Joys of the Season by Tara McClenahan, The Christian Mommy Mentor

Hello there!

How are your holiday preparations coming along? I pray you aren't frazzled and overwhelmed. I've had to force myself to pay attention to the little joys of the season and invite you to do the same.

Here are just a few from our home to yours:

• The joy of discovery and flood of memories as we unpacked the ornaments from their boxes to trim the tree
• The awe on Little Man's face as he lay beneath the Christmas tree marveling at the lights and ornaments from that perspective
• The hilarious "uh-oh" when Little Man found a present hidden in a closet
• The feeling of shared delight as we sipped our first hot chocolate of the season and the giggles as we saw each others whipped cream mustaches
• The excitement of leafing through a toy catalog yet tempering that with lessons of "need vs. want"
• The understanding that dawned on my son's face when I shared that we would be helping out some families that don't have food, blankets and beds. He said sadly, "Mommy, I don't know how to help them." I replied, "Jesus will show us how and we will help them together!" He joyfully wrapped his arms around me and said, "Thank you, Mommy! We''ll help them togedder!"

Take five minutes by the Christmas tree and make your own list of little joys from the Christmas season thus far. Slow down, pay attention and soak them in!

Blessings to you and your family!

Tara & Little Man

Take a Peak Behind the Scenes.... by Betsy Ringer

On December 6, 1986, we drove the truck with all our possessions in it into Louisville, KY. We moved from sunny California to Kentucky. Hmmm. I thought we might stay here five years but that would be about it. Twenty-four years later we are still here. After settling into our rental house, we asked where to get a Christmas tree. Our Realtor directed us to Huber’s Orchard in southern Indiana. This year was the 24th year we went to Huber’s to cut down our Christmas tree.

So the Saturday after Thanksgiving, our three now-grown kids plus our newest family member, Ally (Eric’s wife) piled in the car for our Christmas tree outing. As we crossed the great Ohio river into Indiana, with Dave Barnes’ singing Christmas tunes in the background, I watched a barge emerge from the locks. From the bridge, I looked down on the quiet river town; quite a contrast to the big shiny buildings we just left behind in Louisville. We soon left the highway taking twisting back roads, passing a small white church, creeks, pastures and an occasional farm house nestled into the hillside.

Excitement rose as we turned into the familiar, comfortable entrance with the twin ponds and farm buildings. We grabbed a saw and hopped on the trailer pulled by a tractor that would take us to the site where we would select the white pine that would bring us cheer throughout the holidays. We pondered the 20 foot trees and finally decided they simply would not fit. We chose a nice fat round tree. Brendan wielded the saw this year – many times it’s Eric – and we headed back to where the tractor would pick us up.

I remember the first year we went to the farm. Brendan was barely three. Rich cut the tree and carried it on his back. Brendan and I laughed and laughed because it looked like the tree was walking! All we could see was the tree and Rich’s legs. He zig-zagged with the tree and we laughed harder!

We have chosen a tree in snow, 60 degrees and rain, sunshine, and days like today with just enough chill in the air to feel Christmasy.

When we got back to the farm buildings and loaded the tree on top of the car, we went inside the farm store. The warmth felt good and the smell of the fresh bread in the bakery was enticing. It’s become a family tradition to take a family picture at Huber’s. Here is one from several years ago. You can see this year’s picture below.

Please use the comment section to share something fun you and your family have done this year. If you have a memory you’d like to share, we’d love to hear that too!

Sand Through the Hourglass by Tara McClenahan, iBloom Christian Mommy Mentor

If you are a mom, one or more of these will probably sound eerily familiar (if you are honest with yourself anyway- don't worry, we won't tell):

• Piles of laundry at your feet at 9 PM and your only thought is "I wish I could lay down on them and nap"
• Bathtime will result in more of a mess to clean up than the current grimyness of your kids' bodies so you decide to skip it tonight
• Tag-teaming with your hubby between ball practice and the dance recital makes you want to disguise yourself as a gypsy and head for the hills
• You lay your head on your pillow at night and worry if you have truly touched your child's heart that day

We've all been there.  We've all been exhausted, overwhelmed and ready to turn in our mom card.  And at one point or another, we all worry that we are letting the chaos of everyday life distract us from truly reaching out to our children and touching their hearts.  We look up and see that the time that we will have our children with us is running out like sand in the hourglass and we throw that worry on top of the big ol' pile we accumulate as moms.  Then we feel guilty.

It's true - time really is ticking away.  But we don't have to just watch it pass.  We can actually do simple things to make sure that we touch, impact and shape our children's hearts in the ways of God and His Word.  It is difficult to think that we can do that in the middle of our crazy-busy lives, isn't it?  But it can be done when we choose to not allow the daily chaos to distract us from this vital role we have as parents.

So often we love to hear how other moms tackle common parenting struggles so I have put together a FANTASTIC Mommy Panel - a group of Christian moms who have already "been there, done that" and some that are still "there".  These moms are just like you and me - normal, human, and prone to mistakes.  I have purposely not allowed anyone who thinks they are Supermom to be on this panel!  This panel simply has a heart to share with you and other moms the struggles they faced and how they got past all the chaos of everyday life to purposely shape their childrens' hearts toward God.  Some of the topics that will be discussed include:

• The #1 distraction of a mom
• How to avoid the chaos trap
• The key habit to develop to stay focused on what is really important

Join me for my FREE phone chat with the Mommy Panel where it is my prayer that you will walk away encouraged as a mom and with some practical and easy ideas to help you navigate the chaos of everyday life to truly shape your child's heart toward God!

The Overwhelmed Mom:  Christian Parenting in the Chaos of Everyday Life

Monday, September 20th, 2010

8:30 PM EDT (7:30 PM CDT, 6:30 PM MDT, 5:30 PM PDT)

Don't let guilt paralyze you from doing the most important things!  Join us to find out how to bust through the chaos and start having the impact on your children that you so desire to have.  Your time of influence is so short!

Even if you can’t make the LIVE call, be sure to register because the audio download will be emailed to registered attendees.

Go to http://tinyurl.com/theoverwhelmedmom to find out more and to get registered.