The Lone Ranger Mama by Tara McClenahan

One eyelid fluttered open as I strained to determine if I really heard what I thought I heard. My suspicions were confirmed with the next telltale sound so I threw back the warm covers and groggily shuffled through the minefield of Legos, the overturned art table and leaking sippy cup as I tried to avoid tripping over the dog dancing in anticipation of her breakfast. I stepped into the kitchen and looked at my toddler standing with both feet squarely in the dog’s water bowl, doing his own version of Lord of the Dance: Waterworld. He noticed me and flashed his dazzling dimpled grin as he picked up the pace to impress me with his skills. The urge to just turn around and go back to bed was VERY appealing. Of course, just then both the doorbell and phone began ringing. I took a deep breath and evaluated my coping skills for the day ahead and realized that I was seriously lacking.

Have you ever had a day where before 7 AM you were ready to sink to the floor and cry? Oh yes, it’s actually funny later, but at the time…. I used to try to be brave and go it alone, but I’m learning a better way. I’d love to share and also hear from you as well.

1. Thankfully, God is with us to help us:

“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:4-5 ESV

Even though I may only have five minutes between my child’s escapades, it’s enough time to praise God, read a Psalm or simply acknowledge God’s presence. Find that chunk of time in your day because it provides life from the Vine that we so desperately need.

2. God is ever present AND He sends friends and mentors to provide encouragement, guidance, laughter and perspective that all our efforts with our family will make a difference:

“Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.” Proverbs 27:9 ESV

If you realize that you are trying to be a Lone Ranger Mama, I encourage you to seek out friends and mentors. You can reconnect with old friends, make new friends by joining a new playgroup or an online mom community (try www.cafemom.com), join a mentoring group or seek out an older mom in your church to be your mentor.

Most of all, I just want to encourage you that you are not alone. Even when you want to go face first into your Cheerios, you have support all around you. Look up, wipe off your face, reach out your hand and get connected!

I care and I would like to hear about a day you went face down in the Cheerios and how reaching out to connect with God and a friend or mentor helped you!

For more resources about spending time in the Word and connecting with God, please check out www.ibloom.us/store.html.

Tara is an Associate with iBloom. She has a heart for helping Moms of young children flourish. Visit her at Tara McClenahan.

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Easy Relaxation Tips for Busy Women by Tara McClenahan

Whew! Summer is just beginning and as a mom of a little one I already feel a bit weary. As moms, we seem to take care of everyone and everything. But I have to admit, sometimes I feel guilty when I take time to take care of, um… ME! But let’s take that guilt, throw it over our shoulder and take some personal “mama” time for ourselves this summer ~ GUILT FREE!

Each of us has the capacity to nurture others and accomplish great things but a constant focus on others takes its toll. A car is filled with gas to make it run. Eventually the gas runs out and your car won’t move unless the car is replenished with fuel. The same goes for us. Emotional issues can develop when we don’t take the time to take care of our spiritual and emotional well-being, not to mention the physical results of emotional neglect.

Taking time to refuel our emotional tank is important so we can be the best for our family, our jobs and for others. A wise friend is teaching me that sitting for fifteen minutes doing nothing helps restore what a busy schedule drains out of me. In the summer, relaxing in a hammock under a tree is the perfect getaway from the pressures of the day. Reading a book for 30 minutes can also seem like heaven to many moms and overscheduled women.

So, join me as I commit to taking time to refresh my spirit so I can be the best I can be! Try one of these tips and leave a comment on this blog entry about how it goes. Share ideas YOU have found that are helpful for “filling your tank.”

1. Get up early if you have to. When you have kids or a full work schedule, the day begins at a hurried pace. Once you hit the ground running, there is no stopping. Waking 30 minutes to an hour ahead of time means quiet solitude to spend time reading the Bible, praying, drinking your coffee, and/or listening to music.

2. Turn ordinary experiences into major events. When you take a bath, add candles, bubbles, quiet music and/or an inflatable bath pillow. Your regular bath has now become a spa level experience. If you watch a movie, turn out the lights, pop a bag of microwave popcorn and curl up on the couch.

3. Ask your husband for help. Kids love their mothers but time spent with dad is important too. Let them bond with dad while you go shopping for a new outfit or root around in the garden. Since the time is yours, do whatever you like.

4. Use the Boy Scout motto. Always be prepared and you can spend more time in a relaxed mode. Fix lunches the night before. Iron clothes for the next day. Place backpacks by the front door so kids can grab them on their way out. The fewer things you have to do throughout the day, the calmer you will be with your family and not experience burnout.

5. Take exercise breaks. When you get a few minutes the last thing you want to do is exercise but getting a little physical activity in your day has far-reaching implications. Exercise helps you to think clearly and stretches the muscles. Also, stress will drain away as powerful endorphins are released into your system. Keep walking shoes by your desk at work. Do jumping jacks during a television commercial or jog to the bus stop to pick up the kids.

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Tara is an Associate with iBloom. She has a heart for MOMS and she helps them face challenges and celebrate victories. Click here to visit Tara's bio page.

KIDS CORNER: Tips from the "Expert" by Lori Snider

In this world of expensive gadgets, Moms (and Dads) may feel pressured to keep up and buy their kids all the latest things. Plus, who doesn’t love to see their child’s face light up as they open up something they’ve really wanted?!! Well, I want to challenge Moms to remember to include the simple things of life as “presents” too - I often think they are more valuable than the electronic devices.

One thing we started doing when our girls were little was walking. Each night after dinner, we would set out as a family and enjoy the new surprises in creation that God showed us - many weren’t there the night before! What a perfect way to teach colors, shapes, and science (ok, a little plug from the former Kindergarten teacher) as you stroll along. Sometimes we would go to a park and after the girls played on the equipment, we would walk in that new neighborhood. Or, sometimes they rode their bikes. As they got older, we added a family dog to the mix and that was good for all of us to get out in the fresh air.

An added bonus was during the teenage years. It’s much less threatening for your teenager to share what’s going on at school or in their group of friends when you are walking side by side and not staring them in the face asking about school! As we would make our way through the subdivision, the girls would share about not being picked for something they had hoped for, or how a girlfriend had hurt their feelings. It provided a safe environment for letting out their feelings. Of course, it got harder to do as the girls became more involved in extracurricular activities, but you can usually fit in a Sunday afternoon stroll!

Give your child a gift today and take a walk!

1. Please share a "tip" with other Moms/Grandmas that helped your kids grow in a healthy way. Please share a comment here.

2. Visit Lori, iBloom associate, at http://www.ibloom.us/associates/lori.html

KIDS CORNER: Cultivating a Happy Heart by Lori Snider

When my two daughters were very young, I spent time alone with God and pondered what values and character traits I wanted to help Kate and Molly acquire.  Now, please don’t think I thought it was all up to me, I am just God’s helper here on earth and it was truly my privilege that He had placed these two girls with me for 18 years!  I knew I wanted to expose them to a relationship with Christ.   I also wanted them to be kind, generous, responsible, and live a life of integrity.  I hoped their life would have strong academics, an appreciation of the arts, and an active lifestyle - whew - quite a list!!

 God quieted my heart and said, “Lori, if you will help them choose joy each day, it won’t matter what college they go to or if they can play the flute, they will be equipped to look for the good in others and all situations.”  So began “The Happiest Things!"  Each night at the dinner table, we went around and shared our happiest things of the day.  This became especially helpful when they became teenagers and didn’t always respond to “How was school today?”  I learned things about my daughters and husband that may not have come out of the normal dinner conversation. 

There were sometimes grumbles as they got older, but we continue to do this tradition today, even though the girls are out of college.  I found it interesting when Kate went off to college and babysat for a family, she shared this tradition with those children.  Does this mean that life is always rosy?  Absolutely not!  But, at the end of the day, we have a choice… and I choose joy!

1.  Please share something you have done (or ARE doing) with you child (or Grandchild) to foster a happy heart.   Click here to share a comment

2.  Check out Lori Snider, iBloom Associate, at http://www.ibloom.us/associates/lori.html

Just a Spoonful of Sugar by Leigh Ann Napier

“Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down…in the most delightful way.” Wise words from Mary. I have plenty of “medicine” in my life. Meaning things I know need to get done but I just don’t want to do them.

For me the worst dose would have to be cleaning. That is something that I really don’t enjoy. There are so many things I want to do with my days and spending it with a mop and a bottle of Fantastic just isn’t on my list.

So I have a choice to make, several options actually. I could:

1. Hire someone to do that for me
2. Complain and grumble while cleaning
3. Not clean and live in a pig sty
4. Find a way to make it less awful

I’m on a mission to pick #4 until the day I can convince my hubby to agree to #1. By the way, if you are in the #1 category, I’m a teensy bit jealous. Hope you are counting that as one of your blessings in life.

Let’s take a look at how I could carry out #4 Finding a way to make it less awful, that would prevent me from doing #2 Complaining and grumbling while I clean. Finding a way to make it less awful is my goal, not to be Martha Stewart.

So, what does a spoonful of sugar look like when applied to cleaning toilets. Here are some suggestions:

• Play music or a book on tape while you work
• Enlist your children to help with a treat planned when finished
• Use a timer: Set it for 15 minutes, quit when it goes off. More than likely I will want to finish up what I am doing, but I am CHOOSING to continue at that point rather than feeling forced. The main point is: GET GOING
• Touch things only once. For example, sort mail near the recycler then either toss it, file it, or put it in an action box.

As I mentioned before, I do not ever desire to win a Good Housekeeping award. But I do want to do what God has given me to do with the best attitude possible. He loves a cheerful giver, and your family will too.

For more tips on getting your house in order, check out this great website http://www.flylady.net/ It is full of information to help you organize your home.

So two questions for you:

#1 What is the “medicine” in your life?

#2 Would you share a tip on how you can sweeten the experience?

This is my second entry of what I learned while watching Mary Poppins with my little girl. If you missed the first one, “Enough is as Good as a Feast” read the previous blog entry.

Check out Leigh Ann's bio at: http://www.ibloom.us/associates/leighann.html

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Enough Is As Good As a Feast by Leigh Ann Napier

“Enough is as good as a feast.” Mary Poppins explains to little Michael and Jane. I doubt the wisdom of these words sank into their developing minds. But if it did…what a difference it would make!

I never thought watching Mary Poppins with my 2 ½ year old would turn out to be a learning experience! But it did. My grandfather used to always tell me that everyone knows at least something you don’t, so listen up and you might learn something.

Well I must have had my listening ears on during the movie. My daughter was a little aggravated when I got up to grab my notebook though. My husband looked at me as if to say, "Really? You’re going to take notes while watching Mary Poppins?" Oh well, if I don’t write my notes down as they come, they could be lost forever. I always keep a pen and paper close by.

Back to what I learned from Mary. Enough is as good as a feast. How much my life would improve if I just took that to heart. Stopping at enough or being content with enough would be so freeing, wouldn’t it? I could:

· Put down the fork when I’m full

· Have boundaries around my work hours

· Maybe down-size my home (which we did)

· Reduce the number of activities kids are involved with (not there yet, but see the temptation ahead)

· Less time on Facebook in exchange for more face time with my family and friends

So how would that improve my life?

· Shed some pounds

· have more time to spend with family

· less house to clean, less mortgage to pay

· more free time

· life at a more relaxed pace.

I feel calmer just writing this!

If you want to join me on the less is more mission, I would recommend you read Making Room For Life by Randy Frazee. Can’t say enough good things about it.

We are in this together, so please take a minute and share a time about simplifying. Just click on "comments" below.

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Coaching Kids in Meaningful Gift-Giving by Betsy Ringer

Have you ever been disappointed that your family FORGOT your birthday, Valentine’s Day or Mother’s Day?  Or they just didn’t do what you were hoping they would do?  May I pass on some words of wisdom?  Coach them in the art of gift-giving.  When it involves giving to others, you can coach them.  AND you can enlist your husband, friend or relative to coach them for YOU!!  Mother’s Day is coming up so why not help your husband help your kids give you a meaningful gift.  Here are some ideas of inexpensive but meaningful gifts that you can help your kids make for others or your husband can help them make for YOU.  The idea is to teach kids how to honor people who are valuable in their lives.

1. Create a MOM poster.  Kids cut out words and pictures from magazines that remind them of things they love about Mom.  Glue them on some cardboard.  You can even frame it. When they present it they can elaborate on why they chose the words and pictures!
2. Write and perform a song that lets Mom know just how special she is.
3. Get bulletin board paper from the teacher store and make a huge sign about how great Mom is and put it up on the garage where everyone in the neighborhood can see.
4. Put fun and complimentary messages on little pieces of paper.  Put each in a different balloon and have helium put in them.  Make a balloon bouquet.  Tell Mom at the end of the day she will have to pop the balloons and read the messages inside.
5. Create a short book that has on each page a reason you love your mom.  Draw a picture to go along with it.  
6. Another book idea - this time have everyone in the family contribute.  Write out good memories - funny things that happened with the family, fun activities, embarrassing moments, and other great things you experienced together.  Draw a picture or find a picture to glue in the book.  
7. Research some yummy recipes online and bake a meal or at least a dessert!
8. Okay, so this one cost money.  But we LOVE to see that bag from the Brighton store.  Pick out anything from that store and we will love it - and they wrap it so pretty!

My personal favorite gifts from my kids include: 

• A book my older son made where he drew a picture on each page and wrote a caption about something he liked about me or what we did together - yes, I treasure it still! 
• My second son drew a portrait of me when he was 6 years old. I was dressed in an evening gown at the playground - what a woman!  Yes, it is FRAMED!
• My daughter wrote a song and sang it for me - yes, I cried!

Over the years I have treasured going on our first picnic and hike of the season on Mother’s Day.  I love having the family together! I have loved reading their homemade cards or notes.

The important thing is for your children to learn how to tell others how they are special to them.  That is a learned skill so help them. And YOU can ask someone else to teach them how to recognize YOU in a meaningful way.  Enjoy your day!

Please share your most memorable "gift" from a family member - preferably something that was meaningful and not expensive.  Click on Comments below and share!!

They'll Remember Your Laugh by Betsy Ringer

Laughter is good medicine for the body, mind and soul.  Proverbs 17:22 says so. And modern research confirms that a good belly laugh and even a giggle reduces stress, protects our heart, strengthens the immune system and increases our pain threshold! 

The movie, “Patch Adams” is based on a doctor who is still practicing medicine today. He prescribes and uses laughter as a healing agent.  Laughter helps clear toxins from organs and circulates oxygen in our bodies.  Oxygen is a primary catalyst for biological energy necessary for good health.  It helps destroy cancer cells, parasites, and bacteria.

I speak to many groups about Laughter and I find that most of us need to be reminded that our families will not remember how clean the house was but they will remember our laugh.  We live in a society that believes the lie that busy people are important. We try to cram 30 hours of living into a 24 hour day. 90% of doctor visits are stress related.  It seems that most of us can benefit from a dose of hearty laughter!

When my kids were very young we started a Mother’s Day tradition.  I thought we didn’t need one more holiday where we went out to eat and bought a gift. I announced that Mother’s Day would be our first picnic and hike of the season!  We have built many wonderful family memories of Mother’s Day outings!  We have had our picnic in the car due to cold and rain; we have explored beautiful waterfalls; and we have had many, MANY laughing episodes!

Laughter seems to bubble up when we are doing something we enjoy.  Here are a few ideas to set the stage for some great belly laughs:

1. How about some simple activities to stimulate laughter?  Try Corn Hole, cards (we like Phase 10), or games (like Apples to Apples).
   
2. Prepare a meal together and eat outside at a leisurely rate.  Start with simple appetizers (chips and salsa) and non-alcoholic “Sangria” - Sprite and grape juice with orange, lemon and lime slices on top.
   
3. Do an activity together: walk at a local nature preserve, take a hearty hike (we like hiking up creeks and we all eventually get wet), or a play a game of “Horse” at the basketball net.
   
4. And of course, turn up the “Laughter Dial” in your own mind and spirit.  Anticipate a good giggle and you won’t be disappointed!  Let the sparkle in your eye shine through.
   

So whether it’s Mother’s Day, a holiday or an activity you’re planning, be sure to incorporate the laughter.  Relationships are oh so much sweeter when we include a loving dose of laughter!

Now it's your turn. Please share about a time when your family laughed together or a great activity that brings the family together.  We really want to hear!